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Monday, March 21, 2011

Second Crusader Challenge: Goldfish flash fiction

Wow, Rachael really nailed me with this challenge.  It took me a while to be able to find the magic phrases that would equal <100 words.

Not much of a story, this is really more of a glimpse at the characters in my current WIP, A Window to the Gift.  Hope you guys enjoy!

"Clara's Challenge"

The goldfish bowl teetered slowly from the edge of the blade. Vincent scowled at the giggles he heard from the girls in the corner. Smoke wafted Katherine’s cigarette. His nose twitched.

“A-chooo!” He saw the bowl fall.

Flicking her wrist, Katherine caught it with her force-field.  It floated in the air for a moment, before flying across the room and coming to rest on the kitchen table.

He felt Clara’s arms around him, with a kiss she said, “Let me show you how it’s done.”

She snapped her fingers and he watched the flames dance across her hand.

27 comments:

Cherie Reich said...

Very cool flash piece. :)

raisingmarshmallows said...

Ooh...I like this one!

Nikki

theTsaritsa said...

Nice work!

amber d* said...

Very nice! I like that last sentence a lot.

Margo Benson said...

Wow! great little piece and awesome last sentence.

Vicki Tremper said...

Very intriguing characters. I'd read more...

Carol Riggs said...

That's intriguing. Lots of nice magic going on. :) Good job. Great that you were able to springboard from your WiP, too.

Ben Langhinrchs said...

Sounds like there are various gifts involved. Interesting characters. I'd like to know more.

Trisha said...

Love it! I want to know what else she can do :)

Cally Jackson said...

Woot! Girl power. :-)

jenniferelliott14 said...

Beautiful! Love the touch of magic. :)

Amanda Milner said...

Oooh! Magic! Cool☺ Love the name Clara and I like that she is the one with the power. Awesome.

Happily Cheesy said...

Flashy. Nice demonstration of "power".

~Nicole Ducleroir~ said...

Fun, fantastical piece! Well done :))

alberta ross said...

great last sentence - liked this

Sierra Gardner said...

Lots of great magic going on here! I'm impressed when people can create a whole new world in just a few words.

Kari Marie said...

I love all the magic you've incorporated! Nice entry.

Sylvia van Bruggen said...

always love stories incorporating magic!

Mary Mary said...

Force fields and flames! You gotta like that mixture! Good job!

Jeanne said...

I love, "Let me show you how it's done! Voila!" and you did. Great job.

Alison Stevens said...

Interesting piece!

Tony Benson said...

Nice! If it's a glimpse into the characters in your wip, then I'm looking forward to reading it when it's published :-)

catherinemjohnson said...

If those characters are from your WIP it sounds ace. Nice job!

Shelley Batt said...

I really liked this. Great job. Cool that you used your characters.

Charity Bradford said...

Nice! Thanks for sharing.

Deniz Bevan said...

Love all the abilities these guys seem to have. I'm glad the goldfish wasn't hurt :-)

Holly Vance said...

Great job portraying character is so few words! I love the image at the end.

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