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Friday, July 9, 2010

So that's why it's a free pattern!

In August I'm going to a beach wedding. I've found a really pretty sundress that will look good, but I wanted to find a shrug or shawl to dress it up a bit.  I haven't been able to find anything I really like in the store, so I've decided to make my own.

I've recently started following Regretsy, so I've gotten used to seeing some god-awful crafts.  However, while I was searching Lion Brand Yarn for patterns, I was surprised at some I found and how truly terrible they were. (They usually have top notch patterns)

But, if you are in the need of a gag gift, and have some spare yarn and time, have a go at these patterns (click the pictures for the link):

Have a homeless friend who needs a fashionable wrap?  Or maybe just a huge friend that you feel has moved even beyond the mu mu as a fashion statement?

It takes roughly seven large balls of yarn for this masterpiece.  One reviewer said that it was very therapeutic.  Probably because you're just repeating a couple of rows for a quarter of a mile.

This next pattern is only forgivable if you're going to a Renaissance fair as a gypsy.  Not even sure it's acceptable then.  But one helpful reviewer said you could class them up by adding beads and crystals. 

All I can think of as I look at these is how uncomfortable they must be!  I was around for the height of toe ring fashion, and I really can't imagine going through that again!

I'm not even sure how to approach this one.  My first thought is that the color choice is unfortunate for the collar.  My brain kept flitting between "giant watermelon" and "naughty nun costume."

The two reviews on this one were split.  One person loved the collar.  It reminded her of one she got in Japan (those crazy Japanese fashions!).

The other said she didn't know anyone who would wear the collar, but she made the sleeves and loved them.

This pattern is so ludicrous that is just almost is beyond my capabilities of ludicrousness (I know it's not a word.  I'll blame it on the fact that I'm sick.)

I'm not really sure what hits me first.  The pose of the model (please, someone photo shop a puddle underneath her!) or the name of the pattern: Mulled Wine Pom-Pom Leg Fancies.

That name is so deliciously awful, it's almost worth the waste of yarn!  I think I just found my first Etsy project! 


Leah said...

Oh my! Those were some classy pieces... I especially love your idea to add a puddle underneath her! hahah
Just for that, I'll be following you now :)

Witless Exposition said...

Thanks! Every now and then I make a joke that actually works. :)

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